Why Humor Allows Us to Overcome the Tragedy of Life And Death
Or why life and death are one big cosmic joke.
Or why life and death are one big cosmic joke.
When I was studying at the university, we had to read a collection of short stories and pass an exam about it. One story we had to read was about a woman who was walking at night and suddenly got hit by a very small meteorite.
A Cosmic Prank
If I remember the story correctly, she was fine, and the whole thing was just a nuisance. She just continued walking. In the exam, the professor asked me to comment on the meaning of that story. I was never good at interpreting literature, but I said something along the lines:
I guess the author was trying to make the point that the whole thing is a joke, our lives are at the end of everything one big cosmic joke. Out of all the possible things that could potentially kill you, you could also get hit by an unlikely meteorite.
The credit is not totally mine, I think the story actually mentioned that the meteorite was a prank made by the universe. What surprised me was what my professor said next: You think life is a joke? Have you ever experienced a tragedy?
I was taken aback and I mumbled something like: No, I think I haven’t. (I was very young back then.) I don’t remember the rest of the conversation anymore, but this particular exchange stayed in my memory partly because I was upset that the professor didn’t get I was just interpreting the story in what I believe was the correct way.
The other reason is that I never fully forgot the ironic situation described in the story: Being hit by an asteroid/meteorite/an object from outer space. What I find so ironic about this situation is that we are constantly going about our lives, worrying about all these worldly things, but all it takes to take you down is something as small as a meteorite.
I realized my professor was wrong in challenging my interpretation of the story on at least two grounds. Firstly, a tragedy is not incompatible with humor, and secondly, being human is a tragedy in itself. Let me explain.
The Tragedy of Being Human
I will start by redefining what we mean by tragedy. After my exam, I kept thinking: No, I never lost someone close up to now, but my family went through a lot of hardship and even war. Does that count as tragedy or maybe it only counts as a tragedy if you get very depressed about it?
But you can be depressed even when you don’t have a rational reason to be. The existential dread and the apparent meaninglessness of our lives can throw us into the deepest of depressions. So, for a long time I asked myself: Is the existential dread the true tragedy of human existence and where does it come from? I came up with the following answers.
On the one hand, we have consciousness about our existence as unique human beings. Each person is different from another, shaped by their biology, experiences, and emotions. On the other hand, we are acutely aware that this consciousness will disappear when we die. Inevitably, having this consciousness and knowing you will lose it is our tragedy. This is what makes us feel the existential dread from time to time.
The key word here is “from time to time”. We don’t constantly think about it, if we are not depressed at least. We go on about our lives, follow our wants and needs, chasing success and other important things. However, there is an obvious disparity between the existential questions that sometimes trouble us and the little things we do to make our lives better in a society, like work from 9 to 5.
The Irony of Being Human
All our petty concerns about our possessions, careers, social status, and whatnot are a joke compared to an unexpected asteroid hit. In fact, they are a joke even compared to an outside culture where these concerns are different. If you have ever laughed at the ridiculous and almost superstitious habits of a different culture, you will know what I mean.
In comparison to the tragedy of human existence, the petty things like work stressors we experience daily are funny and ironic. The care we put into solving the everyday problems that will not resolve our existential dread makes me laugh. And this is the best tool we have to overcome our tragic existence. I am talking about humor. Some existential philosophers, like Thomas Nagel, would agree with me.
How Humor Embraces Tragedy
Now that we established that human existence is tragic in and of itself and the irony of how we deal with it is funny, let’s come back to the remaining question. Why is a tragic event, such as losing someone you love, compatible with humor?
In order to convince of you this, I will tell you a personal story. When my grandma died, she was in an elderly home in another town. The staff of the home took care of many bureaucratic issues, and when we arrived the most important things were already taken care of. We arrived at the funeral and the coffin was closed. I asked my family if they had a chance to see her body, but they said they didn’t. I looked at the coffin and it was locked. Impossible to open. I told them: How can we even know grandma really died?
Maybe she is up and about and we got the wrong person inside. My dad, being as crazy as me, went ahead and tried to open the coffin again. At that moment, I realized how funny this whole situation was. In the end, we didn’t open the coffin and we buried my grandma with respect. But I can’t stop thinking that there is a very unlikely but still imaginable possibility of her being alive. I still joke about it, saying she might’ve ended up in Latin America.
You might have a different sense of humor and think the story about my grandma isn’t funny. But regardless of whether you found it funny or not, it had a positive impact on me and my family. While we were all crying and going through one of the hardest moments of our lives, we found time to laugh and imagine her alive. Maybe she is still out there. It’s so absurd and lovely at the same time.
I think the reason why humor works so well as our refuge from tragedy and death is that it allows us to embrace the irony of our own existence. Instead of getting desperate over our human condition, we choose to laugh. We still recognize the tragedy, but we react with humor instead of despair.
I hope you will also be able to find humor in the darkest of times.