The Quiet Strength of “Ordinary” Women
Two inspiring personal stories that will change how you see female strength.
Two inspiring personal stories that will change how you see female strength.
Who Are “Ordinary” Women?
It’s Women’s day and just like every year, I expect to see many tributes to women who were extremely successful against all odds. I always like to see these stories about women who were forgotten and whose stories have finally been rewritten as a part of our history.
However, whenever I read about these incredible women, usually nothing short of a genius, I feel smaller than usual. My gut reaction is: “Wow, this woman is a genius. I wish I could achieve as much as she did, but I’m just too ordinary.”
An example of such an achiever is Hedy Lamarr, a famous actress who also invented frequency-hopping for wireless technology, and a bunch of other techy things. Seriously? I’m struggling at being good at one job!
So, today I want instead to celebrate the amazing gifts and talents of “ordinary” women, who did not discover anything for science (because they didn’t even go to school), but they achieved so much more than their time and place would allow them to achieve. They also succeeded against all odds.
I want to show you that some of the best female power comes from those who have very little and come from places that have been forgotten. My tribute for this Women’s day goes to my two grandmas, both of which were born and lived their whole lives in one of the poorest countries in Europe.
First Story: A Strong Woman
This story starts with a war. If you prefer to see a more humorous representation of this story, scroll down to the end of this section for its comic version.
When I was born, the war was raging in my country. My grandparents were separated from us by numerous battalions and conflict zones. From my perspective today it sounds like the end of the world. And it was.
In all of this, my grandma still wanted to come and meet the newborn me. She even had a pressing reason to do so: My mom was afraid to give me a bath (!). Since I was her first child, she didn’t know how to hold me and she was afraid that she would hurt me. Funny, right?
So, what did my grandma do? She traveled literally through war to come to our city. She always tells this story with such exhilaration, especially when it comes to this moment (loosely quoting my grandma here):
We were all on a bus, and several soldiers stormed in. They had these huge rifles pointed at us, of the kind I had never seen before. And they started asking the passengers: “Where are you going?” And I proudly answered: “I am going to see my granddaughter! Out of my way!”
As a child, this story terrified me. I could not believe my grandma risked her life to come and give me a bath… But now I understand that she did it because she simply wanted to reclaim her right to hold her first grandchild in her arms. And nothing could stop her.
Given my grandma’s character, this does not come as a surprise. During her life she fought off an abusive husband and put him in his place in court, she oversaw and organized the construction of her own house, and she protected it during the war from soldiers who wanted to occupy it. If this is not strength, then I don’t know what is.
With all the emotional load of this story, writing it in text form has been hard for me. My original tribute, which my grandma will receive in a frame in a couple of weeks, is in fact a short Lego comic version of this story told in a more light-hearted way. You can read it below.
Second Story: A Curious Woman
The second story on the list is about my other grandma. Her story features the strength of curiosity. But don’t be fooled — it is equally emotional.
For some reason, I was not able to write a text version of this story that would be more compelling than the comic I already made for my grandma. Here is the story in comic form:
What fascinated me the most when I first heard this story from my aunt is that I had always assumed my grandma went to school. She made it appear so normal that she could read and write. No one would have ever thought she had no education.
And while she had an “ordinary” life for a woman of that region — taking care of the farm and her children — she did something extraordinary: She could read and do calculations, even though women were not supposed to do that. She achieved so much more than her time and place had intended her to achieve.
What Can We Learn?
These two stories are just two examples of how extraordinary women can be, even when the societies they lived in tried to deny them the chance of something as basic as learning how to read or seeing your granddaughter.
From now on, whenever I feel small in comparison to high-achieving Nobel-prize-winning geniuses, I will remember I have the strength and the curiosity of my grandmas in my genes.
At the time of writing, both my grandmas are suffering from dementia. This is my way of making sure that their most memorable stories are never forgotten.
Let us celebrate the strengths and hidden superpowers of “ordinary” women! Chances are you already know plenty of them.