Dear readers,
There are many obstacles on the creative path. In today’s post, I discuss two major ones: forgetfulness and thinking that no one cares. Both are inspired by short comic strips I made this week, based on my experience as always. Enjoy!
Part 1: Leafy forgetfulness
This is a second comic about me trying to draw leaves and failing and that’s not for no reason. Last fall, on my daily walks through the park I got inspired by the falling leaves and I drew a few of them, wrote a post about Ginkgo biloba and Persian ironwood, and I even wrote a short story about a leaf. You can read it here (transferred from my Medium):
I was expecting the same to happen this year: collect a few leaves, as you do, and write some deep inspiring stories about them. Well, at least I got some comics out of it.
Part 2: No one cares? Do it anyway
(click here to read it on Medium if you are a Medium member)
Here is the thing. We all reach a point in our hobbies, jobs, and other endeavors when no reward feels worth the effort anymore. At least I hope that’s the case. Otherwise, I’m alone in this!
Also, I have ADHD. I start new hobbies and interests very quickly and after some time I inevitably stumble upon this problem. It feels like no one cares.
How much of this is just a feeling and how much of it is somewhat true is hard to tell. You see, I’m still a beginner in most of my hobbies, simply because I constantly start new ones! For example, I started drawing and writing during the pandemic. Therefore, it stands to reason I don’t have a huge following on my comics and writing yet. It just makes sense, right?
Well, yes, but… the amount of engagement on my posts and comics is still pretty low on an average post. This is not to diminish all the support I get here on Substack, every like and view counts, and I thank you all for that! Compared to other social media, my comics perform the best here (in relative terms).
Ideally, every post and every comic would get just a little bit more engagement, and my motivation would follow in a linear fashion. But that’s not how it goes. The world happens to be a tad more chaotic, and it doesn’t care at all about my ADHD-fueled needs.
I recently started working on my comic Brave Hearts and after finishing the first few pages, I enthusiastically published them here and on other social media. “This is it”, I thought, “this might be my big break”.
To my disappointment, I got a pretty average response to my comic pages, meaning not higher than my usual engagement. And I know average shouldn’t be bad, but I had all this expectation building up because I worked way more for Brave Hearts than for my short comic strips, which get the same or more engagement.
The reason
After refreshing my Instagram feed for the hundredth time, it dawned on me. I remembered why I was creating Brave Hearts in the first place. I did not spend weeks perfecting the script and the drawings because I wanted to get more likes. I did it for myself.
You see, Brave Hearts is a story about the journey my grandma went on during the Croatian war to come and see the newborn me for the first time. This is a deeply emotional story for me and my family, which I decided to depict in a comic to preserve the memory of my grandma and her stories.
This artwork is for me.
However amateur or unsophisticated it might be, how many views it gets…none of it matters, because I created it to express myself. More than that, I created it to transform my view of life. Maybe war is not an inevitable evil, maybe love for your grandchildren can truly create a pocket of peace even during wartime. Maybe not all is lost for humanity, because there is a grandma somewhere who loves her grandchild.
This is the sentiment that led me to say: “I will do it anyway”. I will also continue publishing my comic pages and my thoughts online, as a courtesy to the world, because I believe this artwork tells the truth people should have the opportunity to hear. Most people will never stumble upon my comic and that is ok. People seeing it is just a little extra, not the reason why I am creating it.
I was so happy I figured this out, but I know I will forget it in the near future, when I hit the next “publish”. Then I will have to go through this process again. I will have to remind myself why I believe in this story.
I have also noticed that this approach does not work with everything I do. I sometimes reach a point of no return, where I realize I have lost my belief in something I used to love to create. And that is ok too.
People change and our purposes can change too. What matters is that we are in tune with our current purpose. If you are ever plagued with similar thoughts of “no one cares”, ask yourself: What matters to me right now in my life? Why am I doing this? The answer you are looking for is: “For myself”.
Good luck on your journey. May all the work you create be fueled by the desire to express yourself (and if it helps others at the same time, that’s amazing).
Thank you all for reading and supporting Brave Hearts! It really means a lot ❤️ (and helps with motivation).
If you liked this, like, subscribe and share with others!
Ana
There is an illustration that first shows a line of people sitting on the metro and everyone is behind their phone, then they show the backview and you realize everyone is talking via video with someone smiling.
everyone cares, never doubt it, and if someone seems to not care is because their thoughts have been taken by a concern, but never doubt that when their day needs a boost they will know that someone shared something for their day to be brighter and cared for them, even when they were a bit too foggy to notice it
thank you for this great writeup!
Ana, those of us who read your posts care! I certainly care about reading your posts. But, I do get what you're saying. I've been thinking the same thing about my Substack too. And, I write my posts anyway. I find it very therapeutic and freeing to write and be creative. Thank you, again, for sharing.
I heard someone give a talk recently who created these short, daily reflections that he emailed to his older children and some of their friends. He was hoping to get lots of engagement and feedback, but he received nearly nothing. However, he committed to himself that he would stick to writing and emailing these posts daily for 30 days.
At the end of the 30 days, because nobody engaged with his posts--no even his own children, he decided he was done with it. Two days passed without sending any new posts, then it happened. His daughter and son both emailed him saying, "Dad, where's my daily reflection? You're behind. I haven't gotten anything in my inbox for two days."
So, he had a conversation with her and explained how he thought nobody was reading it or paying attention. However, to his surprise, she shared that she and her brother were sharing it with their friends and having some really meaningful conversations about his posts. He was shocked!
Basically, as you can see from what I shared, none of us really knows how far and wide our creations and writings will impact others.
Please keep sharing! I always look forward to reading your posts. I'm definitely sure that I'm not alone.
All the best,
David