Let Us Shake the System by Talking About Economic Privilege
A short story on how I crossed the boundaries of privilege
A short story on how I crossed the boundaries of privilege
Privilege is often an uncomfortable subject, almost like if we admitted we had it, it would ruin our success story. But we can only break its power if we talk about it. This is a story about my privilege. It starts with a crucial kernel of truth: People from different economic backgrounds don’t start at different positions in life. They start in different universes that only cross each other once in a blue moon. I happened to be there during a blue moon.
In our capitalist achievement-driven society, we keep hearing the same narrative: Work hard and you will get to where you want to be. Sounds good, where do I start working? In most places in the world, there isn’t even a starting point present! You cannot choose almost anything regarding your work, you just have to do whatever is needed to survive.
As a woman, I also heard many Jordan Petersons over the years saying how women just have to stick it out and fight more for what they want. It’s not society’s fault after all, it’s on us to incur a worldwide change. So, it is no wonder that when women accomplish a lot, it is attributed to hard work and perseverance in the capitalist system. And I don’t deny that they all worked very hard to get there, however, usually from point A to point B within the social class they were born in.
(Just to clarify, there are some exceptional individuals who start out poor but play the game of the rich by their rules and manage to jump all the hoops and all the obstacles and join the club eventually. However, in order to do this, you need to be motivated by the money itself and willing to do whatever it takes. That would not be me.)
Basically, people who can “stick it out and fight” are those who have the tools to do so. These are people born (at least) into the middle class, educated on how to use their money, how to fill out forms and deal with bureaucracy, and how to navigate life in general. The poor do not have any of this. They wouldn’t even know where to start when someone tells them to “work hard”. They live in a universe where hard work doesn’t bring you more money and success.
This was me: Growing up poor and seeing that hard work and high education doesn’t equal money. When I saw rich people, I knew they must have done something illegal, which was mostly true in Croatia in the nineties. I knew I never had a chance to cross into that higher universe because no job that I considered valuable or moral could even be good enough to bring me into the middle class. But then, something unexpected happened.
Honestly, I could have even predicted this but that wouldn’t have been very feminist of me. I have always been an independent woman. You know what I’m talking about: Marriage. Long story short, I fell in love with a foreigner living in a richer country and with a superior economic status (nothing fancy, just middle class). We got married, I moved there, and his family helped us financially while I was finishing my studies.
My degree and experience at a foreign university were absolutely crucial for securing a PhD position at a prestigious institution later on and getting jobs after that, and here I am. I am in the middle class now. People often tell me how I deserved it all: My studying and hard work made it all happen! I came a long way from being poor.
“No…” I correct them. “It was my marriage that brought me into the middle class.”
“Oh!” they always get disappointed when I say this. Maybe I am not a feminist after all. Maybe I married into a higher economic class because I’m one of those, what are they called, gold diggers? Shouldn’t I be ashamed to point this out?
No, I’m just a normal person, who falls in love, works hard in what she finds valuable, and loves to point out the societal irony that all my success hinges on one lucky roll of dice (and see people sweat while wondering if I am in fact a gold digger).
I know I wouldn’t have gotten far if I just continued working hard in my home country (which was exploited for centuries by the same rich countries where I can be middle class, ironic much?). I know that sooner or later I would realize that there was no path to a different economic universe. It was marriage that brought me to where I am today. That is my privilege. What is yours?
If you liked this, sign up for my newsletter Ana’s Stories!